Once upon a time I went to a dance show, and it was called Busta Keaton. It was about Buster Keaton, and it was really fun. Buster Keaton is a famous black-and-white silent movie actor. He was very funny. Busta Keaton was like Buster Keaton only a rap dancer. Both were like clumsy funny and stunt-sy. Stunt-sy means very good at stunts. There were lots of cool dances. There were people in black and white. And there were some people that were in colorful costumes. The colorful costumes were for the teenagers. They were like new movies, ones that are newer to us than black and white. There was sad-moody, rock, and hip-hop songs. The ads were really funny because they were from a long time ago. And some of them were really hilarious because there were these kids saying, "You should try this product or something terrible will happen." Or something like that. That was good because it made it more old fashioned.
There was this glow-in-the-dark scene. It was really fun. They were wearing white outfits, and you could only see the outfits. My socks started glowing in the dark because they were white! And there were these floating shapes and people who kicked people in the head. You saw all these people doing different moves, and the music sounded like a robot.
There was this really funny scene where this girl fell in love with Busta Keaton. She was like "Oh, you have a pie?" And she really wanted some. She chased Busta Keaton all around the room. Then he set it down and said, "go ahead and have some." Then her face fell in it. Then she looked up and she looked very angry. Then they danced everywhere. They still like each other even though the pie got in her face.
There was this scene and these three men and like this big carton. Everyone wanted to get on the carton, and to get it they must do the greatest tricks. They were like jumping off it in different ways and trying to impress each other. And then they all got to sit on it. That meant that they didn't really like each other at first, but now they do.
It was cool because all the dances were all different. It was all different kinds of stories that were part of the same play. I never ever got bored. The dances were really fun, exciting, and awesome. People that like dancing, Buster Keaton, and black and white would like this dance show. People should go see it. They should go see it today or tomorrow because they are having their last show tomorrow.
It was directed by Kimberly Senior. It wasn't as funny as Cherry Orchard--she also directed that play. This one was more dramatic. She chose a play with guns, miners who don't have jobs, grown-up talk, words that some children would rather not hear (but not me, I am okay with this kind of talk), and no speech to a bookcase. It was less for kids. It was a good play still.
It is about a fake conquest of the South Pole--as you can see in the title, except for the fake part. It is not actually at the South Pole. They are in an attic. When I am angry, sometimes I just go into my room and play. I know some of you might think that is silly--but that is what makes little kids feel better. The miners think if they play conquest of the South Pole then that will make them feel better. It does not make them feel better at all--it makes them sadder because they still don't have any jobs and they don't have any money. Somebody doesn't want to play it and then they fight over the game and then they all quit except for two people who still play. Then a woman (played by Jenny Avery) has a baby and the play ends.
Anderson Lawfer played the meanest husband in the world. He did go to the actual South Pole, but he didn't play the game. He was so mean. I don't even know his name because I was so focused on how mean he was. His name was Rudi. Whew. He was rude. He gets into a fight because he treats his wife badly. He was bragging about going to the South Pole, and that makes them angry because they are just pretending. The fight was really very very creepy. I didn't even watch all of it because it was sooo creepy. It looks like Rudi bled very very very very bad. Very bad. It kind of made me a little grossed out because I know Andy in real life.
Rosi was played by Justine C. Turner. Rosi is Rudi's girlfriend. I felt sorry for her. Rosi was very cool. She smoked. Everybody saw her smoking. When she comes to the stage, then she says, "They call me Rosi," then she smokes the cigarette and she says "The Divorcee." If you don't know what divorcee means you can learn it from me--ADA GREY! (and my mom). It means a divorced female person. I just learned it a few seconds ago--but if you read this in the future, like a hundred years later, then it will not be a few seconds ago. It will be a hundred years ago. Justine did a good job being funny. When she said "divorcee" that was hilarious, and I didn't even know what divorcee meant, but I laughed anyway.
Jamie Vann played Slupianek. Slupianek is such a hilarious name. Slupianek makes me think of a funny person. And he was pretty funny. There was a song called, "Why can't a Moose ride a bike. Err Errk. Because he doesn't have the thumb to ring the bell." It was the main song in the whole entire thing. It was really hilarious and they sang it a lot. Slupianek was the person who sent Braukmann to cooking class. It was funny how he presented it. Slupianek was the leader to the South Pole. But he wasn't always the leader because some people had their very own ideas, which he disapproved of. But then he did them anyway. He is in love with Braukmann's Wife. And there is this part where he like lets her back in the chair and puts her forward again and then he says "Scene 6." I think they were starting to fall in love with each other. I have a theory about the last scene of the play. He was waiting in the hospital and decided to go to the South Pole when he was waiting for Braukmann's Wife to have the baby. I think she is going to have the baby, and then the baby is going to want to go the South Pole with his daddy. And he is going to be in a tiny little baby coat, with a tiny little ski mask, and then a little teddy bear with a coat that says "New Baby" on it and a tiny little bear ski mask.
Braukmann's Wife was played by Jenny Avery. There is some shooting in the play that she does. You think she is going to shoot Slupianek, but then she shoots his pigeons instead--which you don't really care about as much as Slupianek. I didn't actually think she did the right decision, because Slupianek was actually in love with her and then she would be like "I'm going back with Braukmann again." Then he might feel sad because he was so looking forward to marrying her because he had no wife. She shouldn't have broke up with Braukmann and just get together with him again because that made Slupianek and Braukmann both very sad. You still like the character though because she has a very simple but hard life.
Tom Hickey played Braukmann. He was really hilarious because he was like "What? I'm going to cooking class?" He always cooked up a meal. Maybe Slupianek wanted him to be like his wife. French fries in Antarctica--in the South Pole? Can you imagine something more hilarious? No. Braukmann was kind of one of the helpers that helped with the things Slupianek couldn't do--like cook. Braukmann was reading a book, and he had a dream: he was giving a speech on a chair at night. And then his wife woke up and told him to go back to bed. She was kind of a little bit tired, I could see.
Michael Dailey played Seiffert. His nickname was Moose and there was a curtain. And Buscher said "What is behind this curtain that wasn't there yesterday?" And they kept saying "curtain that wasn't there yesterday" instead of just "the curtain" because that made it funnier. Moose was behind it, and Moose was about to hang himself because he doesn't have a job. Then he can't get money. They forced him to eat french fries. The dreaded french fries! Moose had no wife or I would have told you about her already. Nobody had a wife except for Braukmann and Slupianek and that was the same wife! Rosi isn't Rudi's wife anymore because he treated her so terribly.
John Ferrick played Bushcher. He wanted to play characters that failed to go to the South Pole because he wanted to be failures because he thought he was a failure because he didn't have a job. But then everybody said we don't want to be failures because we aren't failures. He does not all fit with Slupianek, meaning he is not the same personality. They want much different things. They actually didn't go to the South Pole, so then they wouldn't be lying if they pretended that they had failed to go the South Pole.
Joel Ewing played the dog. There was this funny part where he was in this pose all ready to do the next scene. Everybody else was frozen solid about to smoke a cigar. And then the dog kept tapping them and they wouldn't move, so the dog just went off stage. He was funny and very good at pretending to pull sleds.
If parents do not like kids seeing people drinking and smoking and fighting this would not be a play for them. And if the children do not like seeing people fighting over a girl or breaking up or bras, then they should not see this play. I liked it a lot anyway because it is okay with me to see that kind of stuff. People that like things that are cold, dramatic stuff, babies, and funny stuff like "bottomless--as usual!" would like this play. I recommend that people should go see this play because it is a good play and lots of people would like it. Some parts are fun; some parts are depressing. Having depressing parts makes the play make more sense. If it is happy for the whole time, it is not that much fun to see. There have to be some depressing things to make it a good play. For example, in Orlando he/she is in love with Sasha but then Sasha runs away from him/she. And that is a good play. And Conquest of the South Pole is a good play too.
Photos: Chris Ocken
Once upon a time, I went to a show and it was called (whisper) Sinbad, The Untold Tale. And it was a cool play. It was about a genie and a porter and a beautiful lady that fell in love with the porter--kind of. That porter was actually the main character. That was cool because a porter is not usually a main character. I thought he would just bring the box to Sinbad the Sailor, and then you would never see the porter again. It was very adventurous. Bum bum bum! If you don't know what adventurous means, you can learn it from me--ADA GREY! It means like falling down a waterfall with nobody catching you. Adventurous means like maybe you would survive. It means dangerous but fun.
There were two Sinbads. One of them was Sinbad the Sailor, and the other was Sinbad the Porter. One of them was really rich, and one of them was really poor. One of them was really older than the other. Adam El-Sharkawi played Sinbad the Sailor. He did a good job pretending that he was older than he actually was. The character really wanted to get people's attention to the story. He made it really exciting by telling us about his own adventures--like there was this one where he fought a kind of creature that was terrible. Edgar Miguel Sanchez played Sinbad the Porter. And I saw him in Wilson Wants It All, and he did a great job in that. He did a great job in this too! You were supposed to feel sorry for him because he's very poor and is bossed around a lot and gets threatened a lot. He was really hilarious. There was this funny part where Ittifaq said "What else can't you do?" Response from Sinbad the Porter: "I cannot think of a reason to like you!" That is a really hilarious answer because that is exactly what she did not want to hear. Edgar was awesome.
Mike Ooi was the Silent Genie. I thought that was a great character because he was another bad guy that helped the sorceress; he was really funny. And here is a part where he was funny: Sinbad the Porter was arguing with Ittifaq, and then the Silent Genie is smiling, and Sinbad the Porter says "Stop Smiling," and then the Silent Genie just starts smiling again. I thought that was hilarious. He was sometimes kind of scary but funny at the same time.
Abu Nuwas was a good genie. He was played by Esteban Andres Cruz. In the genies' fight he did not just go up to the Silent Genie and defeat him. He had to go through a lot of damage. He like jumped and shooted things out of his hands. He moved dramatically like he was about to do something cool and dramatic. Here is how you do a genie fight. You pick an opponent. You make a movement. And then you jump when they shoot at you. And then you have to go back. If you miss the shot that means you are losing. If you get him every single time, and he only got you once, then you would be winning.
Mildred Marie Langford, she played the Sorceress Jan Shah. I thought she was a good actor because every time she tried to make up scary things to do--like scary kinds of laughs. She said you can die or be with me. And the "be with me" part is better than dying, but the girl Ittifaq chose dying because I don't think she wanted to live with her because she was bad. There was this really creepy part where the sorceress dissolved into ashes. If you were a super villain and came to the play (and it would be very easy, because you could just break through a window) then you would feel very sad for the sorceress because she died. And superheroes would feel great that the bad guy died.
Ittifaq was played by Dana Dajani. Ittifaq was the daughter of Sinbad the Sailor. She was kind of mean at the beginning, but then she turned nice because then she actually liked the porter. She like really wanted to fight because she really wanted to have an adventure. Her father needed her and thought she was too young, so she could not go on any adventures. Then she dresses up like a pirate and goes on the ship. She couldn't go on any adventures until her father was sick, and I felt very sad for her. There was this part where she gets captured by this snake that comes in when she tries to get the flower, which is the only way to save her father. That scene was a good scene because it was creepy--the snake came up to her and it was just so sudden. At the end, all the people in the audience got to ask questions. And one of them was "was it hard not to laugh at the funny parts?" And Dana said, "Yes it was very hard not to laugh when the snake laughs." I did not think it was funny; I thought it was creepy. She looked terrified when the snake comes out. I think that is good for the actor and the play.
The magic carpet was cool. They like put their feet in it and they walked around so it looked like they were actually flying. The carpet flies when Ittifaq tells Sinbad the Porter the instructions. She says only love will make the carpet fly. And then he instantly fell in love with her.
They had people dressed in black to help them change clothes and take off pieces of the set that weren't supposed to be there. They lifted the genies up to dodge things in the scene where there was a genie fight. That was a kabuki style thing. I recognized it because I saw another thing that was kabuki, and I saw people in black behind them. I think it was a good idea because it taught the kids that were there what kabuki was. I think it was a great idea because then when people go to Japan they will know what they are seeing when they go to a theatre in Japan.
I think people that like stories that have snakes trying to hurt people and genies and sorceresses would like this play. The audience was not very rowdy because people were really paying attention to the play. 5 to 10 year olds would like this play. I recommend that kids go see it because the actors are funny and the fights are cool.
Photos by: Johnny Knight
Once upon a time I went to a show and it was called Orlando. It was at the Court Theatre. It was a story about a boy that turns into a girl, and it was also about how you can love women even if you are a woman. It took place in a lot of time periods; to be precise, the Elizabethan, the 19th century, and the 20th century. Orlando is mostly thirty for the play even though she/he has lived through all these different centuries. At the very beginning he is sixteen. There is a male chorus; they played different characters. The director, Jessica Thebus, made them play some women parts too because this was a play about men and women put together and how they connect to each other. It is based on a book by Virginia Woolf. She wanted to tell people that you can marry people that are the same sex and that people can feel like boys if they are girls and feel like girls if they are boys. What happened to Orlando couldn't really happen in real life because she is alive for centuries. Most people are only alive one century.
The Queen Elizabeth was played by Lawrence Grimm. I thought he did a good job playing the Queen because he was a boy and the character was a girl. He was so funny. The Queen was like "kiss me," and then Orlando kissed her and she said "That's my boy!" I felt kind of sorry for her when Orlando kissed the other girl.
There was a scene where Orlando was in the bed with the Queen. And the chorus was outside of the bed and said, "And the flower bloomed and fa-ded. The sun came up and back down again." That was funny because they were like dancing at the same time. Their arms were up, and they were on their tippy toes, and when they said faded they put their arms down.
In the book they said that the girl that Orlando was supposed to marry (Thomas J. Cox) was dropping as many handkerchiefs as she had but Orlando would only pick up Sasha's handkerchief. In the play, she threw so many handkerchiefs and said "Orlando! I'm dropping my handkerchiefs! Will you pick them up! Hellooo!" That was how I imagined it in the book except I did not think it was going to be played by a boy.
Sasha was played by Erica Elam. Sasha was a Russian princess. I love how she was like "Translation: Will you please honor me by passing the salt." She was always speaking in French but she had a Russian accent. She did a very very good Russian accent. She was going to marry Orlando but then she went away on a ship with sailors played by the chorus. She should have stayed with Orlando but maybe her father was worried about her and she had to go see him. Maybe it was for a good reason.
When the big flood happens there was a couple laying in bed with millions of eating utensils. I love that part because it is so hilarious.
There was a scene of Othello by Shakespeare in the play that Orlando saw. I thought that it was a very good adaptation of Othello. And who played Othello was Kevin Douglas. Orlando was thinking that he had murdered Sasha with his own hands. But he did not. He was just imagining. He was imagining it because Othello is about a man who suffocates his wife because of the handkerchief but she did not really give it to another man that she is actually not in love with. Othello feels really bad and kills himself.
The actor that played Orlando was named Amy J. Carle. When she was a boy she just wore her hair up in a bun--very easy. I thought she did a good job at playing a female and male part--even though they were the same part. There was a flies game that they played that the Duke that was playing with Orlando (Cox) had to give money to her because whoever had the flies on the lump of sugar that they thought got the money. So it was like gambling. She was like "Ah! Ah! A fly!" and then she got his whole entire fortune. But then he was like, "I can forgive you with my charmingness." And she was like, "Oh no. Not again!" I felt that when she actually speaked to us (not just speaking to a character) it was cool because it made you feel like she didn't just care about the people in the story, she cared about the people watching.
The scene where she changes into a woman was a cool part because the chorus said "And she stands in front of all of us in complete nakedness." You saw her behind a curtain, but you knew she was naked. It tells you that she is a woman. It was not surprising because I had read that part of the book.
In the play, the chorus said "And he did what any young man would do." And Orlando says "King, please send me off to Constantinople" because he wants to get away from the Archduchess (Cox). And he does get away from the Archduchess--for a century. Most people would think that was good, but not Orlando because she lives more than a century. She changes into a woman and comes straight back to London and she meets the Archduchess and then he turns into the Archduke. He revealed "A man in black," and then said: "I was in love with you when I saw your picture, but I knew I could not marry you because you were my same sex." Then he turns into like a hilarious pose. Orlando is not impressed at all. The Archduke did like a lot of teeheees. The chorus said: "with an unmentionable number of tee heeing and haw hawing." She said, "Have you ever shot a Tiger?" And he said, "No, but I shot an albatross." Like duh. It is much easier to kill an albatross than a tiger. If he had shot a tiger, I would be like, I will marry you. Because that would be very useful.
Now let's talk about the Captain (Kevin Douglas). When Orlando is a woman she meets a Captain, and he says, let me give you the smallest slice of corned beef, just the size of your fingernail." It was funny because women's fingernails are smaller than men's. So that is a very small slice! She says, "The only thing to do was to resist or yield." And she yielded. There is a part they left out where a sailor is at the top of the mast, and he sees her ankles, and he almost falls off the mast. They didn't have anything to be a mast, and it would be kind of dangerous for the actors because they might fall and break their heads. That is why they did not put in that part.
They also left out the horrible-est character in the world--Greene. I did not like him because he wrote a horrible poem about Orlando. The playwright Sarah Ruhl left him out because I think he was such a bad character and she just didn't want to make people feel too too too bad for Orlando.
Now let's talk about Shelmerdine. Adrian Danzig was Marmaduke Bonthrop Shelmerdine, Esq. And everyday at breakfast, he told Orlando his name. And she is like, what's your name again? He is the husband of her. He is like "I think you are a boy," and she says "You are a girl." And then they said, "But we have to prove it," and they kissed. And it looked like they were going to wrestle. And I have no idea how that would help. The kissing helped in that time because girls could not marry girls and boys could not marry boys. Now they can. Their relationship was like a really good relationship because they liked the same things. And there was this scene where she read his mind about what he did, and where he lived, and what he liked.
The set was designed by Collette Pollard. I though the set was cool because they could move around the set. So they could use the bed as a lot of things: a ship, a bed, and a flower bloomed and faded place. It was really elegant. The costumes were made by Linda Roethke. I thought they were cool because when they said "And it was the Elizabeth times" they put on ruffle-necks. The costumes had lots of velcro and zippers--no buttons because most of the people were different parts easily. And buttons are hard to get on and off. They had different time period outfits because Orlando lived through so many different centuries.
People who would like this play are people who would like a long amount of kissing, and people that like boys and girls would like this play. You should expect nakedness. You should expect some funniness and some sadness. I laughed twenty five times out loud. When they did Othello, I felt very moved. And when Sasha left I felt very very sorry for Orlando. This play is more hilarious than sad though. I recommend that you should read some of the book before you see the play but not all of it because I think people would like the surprises. You should go see this because it is a very good adaptation of Orlando.
I went to this play, and it was called Master and Margarita. It was at Strawdog Theatre Company, and it was a very creepy play. There were so many characters in it that I couldn't keep track of all of them at the same time. The play was fun, heartbreaking, and silly. And there were a lot of scary parts in it. People's heads got chopped off. It was so fun because there were these scary parts and these not scary parts. I thought it was great.
There was a whole entire magic thing, and the devil Woland said at the party that he was actually not a magician--he was a devil. Devils can do magic, but most magicians cannot do real magic. They were doing magic tricks on the stage, but the devil Woland was doing actual magic. Magic tricks are not actual magic; they are just things that people believe are actual magic, but they are not. I thought the actors did a great job doing the magic tricks, and most people believed it was real magic.
Tom Hickey played the devil Woland. The devil Woland was a cool and crazy character. I don't mean like crazy like blublublublu. I mean like crazy like "I can make this hat into a marshmallow! Now I'll pull marshmallows out of this marshmallow! Now everybody can have a marshmallow!" Magic crazy. One of his eyes was blue, and one was brown. The devil looked creepy with that. He seemed to kind of be a good person but he did some things that were bad. He did stuff that was great but terrible. Like in Harry Potter. He told Master and Margarita how to live forever, and that was good. He killed somebody, and I did not like that.
The Master was played by Dennis Grimes. When he met Margarita, that was the kissing part. There was a lot of kissing. They just met and--bup a dah!--they were in love! It felt like they were in love because he picked up the flowers for her, and when you are in love you just do stuff for the person that you love. And he did a lot of cool stuff like when he said, "Your nurse is very kind, but mindless." The nurse was played by Shane Brady. I thought he was funny because he dressed up like female nurse. Everybody did know that he was not a girl because he had some of a beard, and his feet were too big for the shoes, and he had hairy legs, and he wore a wig.
Margarita was played by Justine Turner. Justine was very good when she gave him the cap--she looked very excited, like she was really going to give someone a present. Margarita was sometimes really loving The Master, like when she was helping The Master to calm down. She was the queen at the death party, and she got in return The Master. There was a scene where Margarita set Frieda (Christy Arington) free and forgave her for smothering her baby. That's how it was shown that Margarita was very kind. I did not know what smothering meant when I saw it, but now I know and it makes me feel sad. There was this part where there was this golden ointment. And it made Margarita's skin shine, and then her servant (Sarah Goeden) got it on too and came to the Devil with her pig. It is cool because it was supposed to be golden. At least Margarita wasn't all the way naked. They said take off all your clothes, but she didn't. Just some of them, luckily.
Andy Lawfer played the cat. And the cat's name was really long--Behemoth--that's a pretty long name. It kind of sounds like "be my myths" because some of the stories that The Master likes are myths. There is lots of magic in myths and in this story it was kind of a myth and kind of not myth. What was not mythical about it was that writers can write about Jesus. A giant cat named Behemoth is mythical. They named him Behemoth because he was not just a regular cat--he was like an ax-murderer cat because he cut off people's heads. He does kill all the bad guys so that makes him a hero--he's like the superhero of the story. There's nothing that he really does bad. Because he works with devil-- that's why everyone thinks he's baaaad.
Loretta Rezos, she played the prettiest servant in the world, Hella. You are great, Devil. You make great clothes for your servant! (Who really made the clothes was not the Devil; it was Joanna Melville.) I liked when she was delivering the telegrams, and it was like and back forth back forth. She just kept coming out and back in--it was cool and funny. It was like "I am coming in; here's some mail!" Out in. Out in.
Fagott was played by Danny Taylor. The silliest man in the world--but he is just a character. And he was really funny when he like does this long speech when Margarita comes to the dance, and he says "And her name must be Margarita" and it goes on and on until he finally lets her in. Fagott's make up was really weird because it had waves over his eyes like eyebrows. Aly Renee Amidei did the makeup. I think she was trying to make it look like he was supposed to not blend in so that everybody would see him except for the actors who were pretending not to see him.
Anita Deely played Azazello. She was a person that hated the Cat. She just hated the cat, and one of the lines she said to the Cat was, "I still think we should drown you." Isn't that kind of funny? She had a manly voice and she dressed in pants, boots, a bow tie, a shirt, and a mask. I think I would describe her as cool. She is a messenger for Woland. And she went to go tell Margarita to come. She came because then Margarita could do whatever she wanted, and she would be free.
The play that The Master was writing was about Pontius Pilate. The prisoner was also played by The Master. The prisoner was Jesus. Why did everybody not like the idea of a play about Jesus? Because people in that time in Russia could not have any churches. Ian Maxwell was Pilate. The first scene was hearing Pontius Pilate talking to a prisoner. You think, poor prisoner and that the play is all about Pontius Pilate and the prisoner. It just turns out to be a play about the Devil and it is not all about Pilate; that is just a play they are doing. At the end, Pilate goes to see his dog and is absolutely happy.
Ivan was played by Kyle A. Gibson, and he was the younger playwright. At the end he was having dreams about The Master and Margarita. Then sometimes he dreamed about the play that The Master wrote and he realized he liked it better than his own play. You don't like him at first, but then you start to like him because then he starts to like The Master and Margarita.
Dan Granata played Trepan. Trepan was the director and he went to Yalta. There was a funny line where all the people who worked with the devil Woland all were in Yalta, and Trepan said "Where am I?" and then all of the devil Woland's group said "You're in YALTA!" It seemed like he was on a game show, sort of. Like one that gives him Yalta as the gift.
Ron Thomas played Berlioz. He was an older writer who was a critic. He didn't seem like a critic; he seemed like an idiot. He was always with his friend Ivan except when he was dead. The audience is not supposed to like Berlioz at all. When he gets his head chopped off we all feel kind of sorry for him and grateful sort of at the same time.
There is a scene which was the dance scene. It was really cool and creepy because there were people that were all dressed up like very famous murderers that died. There was a part where Margarita flew. I thought that was amazing!! Eileen Mallary designed the dances; I thought it was cool. Before the party when Margarita came in, the devil Woland asked Behemoth that "Why should you wear a bow tie if you are not wearing trousers?" And then Behemoth says, "Cats don't wear trousers." I thought that was really funny. I loved it! There was a creepy severed head at the party. That was soooo cool and disgusting.
At the end of the play the Devil says, "I liked all of it. The only thing that I don't like is that it is not finished yet." It would be like "Then Pilate started to go and find his dog and..." and there is like this pause and it doesn't have the end yet." I thought it was kind of cool and kind of sad.
I think it should be for ages 8 and up, but I am really glad I saw it because it is such a great play. People that like severed heads and kissing and dancing and creepy people would like this play. And be prepared to think that you are never going to see The Master again, but then you see him even though he disappears for an entire half. And be prepared for talking severed heads.
Photos: Chris Ocken
Once upon a time I went to a show, and it was called That's Weird, Grandma! And the company was called Barrel of Monkeys. When you go to that theater you feel like you're in a mouse hole because it is kind of small and cute. You kind of feel like you are a mouse if you are a kid. And all the kids feel really happy because it is cozy.
The play was a matinee. If you don't know what a matinee is, you can learn it from me--ADA GREY! A matinee is watching a play in the daytime instead of watching it at night. Ta da! The differences between the matinee and the nighttime plays are that behind us there was someone screaming and crying at the matinee, more kids were at the matinee, and when we got home we didn't have to brush teeth, read books, go to bed. Nighttime is not better for the kids, but it is for me because I am a reviewer. Why, do you ask? Because those kids can't stay up that late.
They do plays written by kids, and next year because I will be seven I can write a story for Barrel of Monkeys that they might turn into a play. Sometimes they are exactly like the kids told them and sometimes they are not. I am not going to talk about all of the stories because there are eighteen stories. I am going to start with my least favorites. My least favorite I think was "The Worried Dog" because there was a lot of potty humor. The dog wanted to use the human potty, and then the owner got mad at the dog. I don't like potty humor because I just feel like it is kind of gross. Only in some circumstances when it is funny. I didn't think it was funny in this--it was grosser. And there was another one called "Untitled (Beach)" and it was about the baddest rock singers in the world. When the mom fought Hannah Montana that was kind of cool. I did not like how she was so excited about all the rock singers that I don't like. I would have been excited about Pipettes, Steven Malkmus, and Le Tigre.Here is one that I do like. It was about chocolate. It was called "I believe That Everything Needs to be Chocolate." I liked it because it was funny because there was this girl in the middle and she said "Chocolate" whispering; it sounded like she liked chocolate. And I agree that somethings need to be chocolate--but not just chocolate. They said you can eat your own house, but that is exactly what I don't want to do because then I wouldn't have any place to live. And my house is so tall that I couldn't eat my whole entire house; I would just have a chunk of house.
"Soft Hearted Stuntman" was a short one, and it was about people trying out for a movie with Soft Hearted Stuntman in it. The person that was trying out for it said, "I can do all the things those guys can do, and i can give a hug." I thought the scene was really loving and cute.
In "Moving Into the Hotel" there were these people that moved into a hotel, and they couldn't pay that much. So then they were asked to do some stuff in the kitchen, and they put all the things in the wrong place. They left the fire on. Then they heard that a program was on the tv, so they went up to their room and watched it. Then the hotel went on fire, and they said let's go to a different hotel that is less smoke-filled. It was funny because there was a fire and they didn't even notice that a fire was on and they were watching tv. They handed stuff to each other down the line like in Looney Toons.
In "I Think People Should Not Kiss," there were all these signs that were protesting kissing. I don't think at all that people should not kiss, but I liked it anyway. There were people that had signs, and one of the people who was in the show was saying about how people should not kiss, and then someone kissed one of the actors. Then she changed her sign to not protesting kissing because she actually loved kissing.
I liked when I got to press the button this time. Before the show has to start someone has to press a button. It was my first time pressing the button. It was really fun. I got to press it with another girl. That was so great; I was like, "Wow, I get to press the button!"
I think people that would like this show would be people that like kids and they also like short stories that were written by kids. Kids themselves would love it. It is fun and cool. It is cool but not cold. When you go there you should expect some protesting and some fire and a change of stories every week. It is much better than just seeing the same ones because then you can see different stories each week. It was so great because they had great kids write the stories, and they also had grownups that really knew how to act to act them out.
Photos: Dean Ponce
Godfrey was played by C. Sean Piereman. Godfrey was the cousin of Rachel and he proposed to her. I thought that was weird because in this time you can't marry your cousins. It would be weird if my cousin did that. That would be super-weird. I thought C. Sean did a good job playing someone who is in a charity and gives money to people that are poor. He is popular with the ladies in the charities because he is the only man there.
Cuff was played by Dave Skvarla. He was a detective, and it is really cool that there is a detective because I expected just the people in the house to try and find the Moonstone. He loved the roses--that was pretty interesting because most detectives in books don't say what kind of flower they like. I expected that he was going to be interested in finding stuff and not roses. Cuff discovered that it had to be someone at the party, or how could they have gotten inside? There was a smear on the door because it was painted, and we thought we knew who did it, but we actually didn't, and I won't tell you. Cuff thought that someone with a smear on him or her had to have stolen the Moonstone. Dave did a good job pretending that he was a rose detective who tried to find the Moonstone.
Lady Verinder was played by Jenifer Tyler. I thought the character was interesting because she didn't believe that her daughter stole the Moonstone even though Rachel had it last. I thought she did a good job playing a mom because she sounded calm when they were leaving their house even though the Moonstone was lost and, even worse, they thought Rachel stole the Moonstone. I thought she was kind of sad when she was sick. She still runs the house even though she is sick. I thought she was brave.
Kaitlin Byrd played Miss Clack and Rosanna. Miss Clack was funny and Rosanna was more serious. Kaitlin was good at doing two different personalities during the play. Miss Clack was really funny but I think she thought she was being serious. And I didn't think she was serious at all; I thought she was really funny. She kept picking out books to give to people because she thinks they will make them feel better. But not all books can make people feel better. If someone gives you a book that is scary, do not read it when you are sad. The books had scary things like devils and poems that were sad. Rosanna was a housemaid at the house, and she was in love with somebody that doesn't like her that much because he likes Rachel better. She is really sad because she had a lot of sad parts to her life--like going to jail. I feel sorry for her because she is so disappointed and she can't marry Franklin.
There were these two characters and their names were Betteredge and Penelope. They were played by Sean Sinitski and Sonja Field. Betteredge told some of the story--he talked about himself and trying to find the Moonstone. He liked to read books, and most of them he thought happened to him in his life even though they weren't about him. He was a servant and when they moved he was left by himself at the house they didn't live in any more. Then he might have been lonely because his daughter went with them. I felt sorry for him. Penelope was the daughter of Betteredge. I thought she had a cool character because she kept interrupting her father's story because she was saying stuff like "Oh father, don't forget this and this and this and this." When Miss Clack said to her, "you shouldn't wear ribbons in your hair, it is too pretty," Penelope was coming upstairs and she was muttering to herself, " I have never been so insulted in my life," and it was kind of funny because she was so angry.
John Henry Roberts played Mr. Murthwaite, and he also played Septimus Luker. This was his second show at Lifeline. And he played a bad guy and a good guy in this one, but in the other one he just played a bad guy. I didn't see Wuthering Heights but I did see The Moonstone because why would I be writing this review? He did a good job talking about exploring because he was the only explorer and he was very scientific--he did a good job pretending to be scientific. Septimus Luker was a bad guy--there were a few different bad guys--and John did a good job playing two characters that had a very different personality.
Bruff is played by Vincent P. Mahler. Bruff is a lawyer of Lady Verinder, and he takes care of Rachel as her foster father. Bruff was funny at some parts and sad at some parts--when Lady Verinder died. I think he is nice because he takes care of Rachel. He is nice and not nice sometimes when he plays a trick on Rachel to get Rachel and Franklin friends again. Vincent did a good performance when he talked to the explorer about who stole the Mooonstone. I felt kind of excited about who stole the Moonstone when they did the conversation because they were talking about who might have stolen the Moonstone in an exciting way.
Ezra Jennings was played by Peter Greenberg. I thought he did a good job playing his character. I liked when he was telling his plan because I thought that was cool. His plan is to find out who stole the Moonstone actually. He did an experiment to try to make the person who stole the moonstone do it again.
Franklin was played by Cody Proctor. He is one of the people who doesn't die. He is a person that is in love with Rachel--there are two people who are in love with Rachel. He tried to find out who stole the Moonstone and tries to make people talk to him again because people don't talk to him anymore. He is not like Cuff because he is in love with Rachel. He is like Cuff because he is like a detective kind of because he is trying trying trying to find out who stole the Moonstone so hard. I thought he was a cool character because he tries to find the Moonstone really hard.
Rachel was played by Ann Sonneville. She was nice to Clack at some parts, but not always. She says to Miss Clack whenever she leaves the room--"Clack"annoyed in a whisper. I thought how she said "Clack" was so hilarious. Clack is a funny name to call someone. I felt sorry for Rachel because she had lost her birthday present, and it was brand new. If I lost a present that I just got, I would have felt sad like Rachel too. When she lost the Moonstone I thought it was kind of scary because she had lost the Moonstone and the Moonstone was a special jewel. She forgives somebody for stealing the Moonstone--I thought that was cool.
There was a scene where Godfrey proposed to Rachel. Miss Clack was telling the story at this part, and Miss Clack said "but I was too late!" because then she saw the kiss. She didn't want to see it because she had a crush on Godfrey. You did know that because she hugged him. I loved this scene! I thought it was funny.
I liked their outfits. Bill Morey did them. All their costumes didn't look like the twenty-first century, which is good because then they got the time period right--it was the time when Jane Austen was writing. A few years later. I thought the masks that the Indians wore were cool but kind of creepy. I liked Miss Clack's outfit--it was kind of funny because she had a bonnet that had flaps over her ears and the flaps went up and down. I liked the white dress that Rachel wore at her birthday: it was down on her shoulders, and I think it had fancy designs on the bottom, and she wore the Moonstone on it. There was the set by Ian Zywica and it had two doors, and it had an upstage that was really cool because it had a fireplace and it turned into a balcony. It also was a place where people usually died. And there was a scene that was in India and they had the Moonstone and they put it into a face. All those things were in the exact same place upstage. I thought the set was cool.
This show should be for ages 5 and up. People that like diamonds, people that like scary stuff, people that like experiments, and people who like mysteries would like this play. And you should go expecting some smoking and dying people--just people in the play, not you. How would I be writing this review if I were dead?
It would have been hilarious if the Indians had said, "If you want to be entertained, that will be one Moonstone."
Photos: Suzanne Plunkett
