Dixie Uffelman played Kim. I liked Kim's character because she is a good person to have in something like this. She is an orphan. She used to like people, but she didn't like people when her parents "went away." When I said "went away" I meant die. The people in the Care Bears reading put it in quotation marks because they didn't actually go away; they actually died. In the movie they just said went away because they didn't want kids to be sad about parents dying because that is something that you need to think about later in life. Kim, I think, is Mrs. Cherrywood. I think it is because at the end she says "That is my favorite story." And then Mr. Cherrywood said, "It made me happier that I ever could be", so that sounds like she knows the story because 1) she just heard it lots and lots of times or 2) she was a characterin the story.
Joey Steakley played Good Luck Bear. Good Luck Bear was Irish, and he was so funny. He was sooo Irish. He had the Irish-est accent in the world. It was tooo Irish. He said his name "Goood Luke Bear." And he also said Lollipoop, and all the words were all vowels. It was so funny. Can you imagine that? Joey also played Mr. Cherrywood who was a Canadian kind of father. And Mr. Cherrywood is also Nicholas. Nicholas is the villain of this story, but it turns out that he starts to care. He is a villain because he likes this book--an evil spirit. Not like "like like" but like "like." Hear that? An eeeevil spirit. He becomes friends with Kim and Jason; that shows that he starts to care. He always flapped with his cape whenever the narrator said "Nicholas." Birthday Bear is a really funny Care Bear because once when someone brought bad news, he said "Something terrible is happening" and then he said, "Happy Birthday!"When he always said happy birthday that was not in the movies. I think it was Joey's idea to be funny.
Shawn Pfautsch played Mr. Fettucine. He was really funny because one time he changed characters at the wrong time. One time he thought he was supposed to play Mr. Fettucine but he was actually going to play Tender Heart. He put up the mustache, and then he looked at the script and just pulled up his hood again that meant that he was a Care Bear. Tender Heart was one of the main Care Bears. He went to go save Nicholas. So did all the other care bears, but he was the first to discover Nicholas and the book. Once he was like "Nicholas, NO!" and then Nicholas was like "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!" It was so funny because Nicholas was so loud it sounded like he was being murdered.
The evil spirit was the actual really terribly bad guy. Marika Mashburn played the evil spirit. There was this part where the narrator started talking and then the evil spirit laughed in the middle of his sentence. That was so funny. I don't think she was trying to be very scary--because they are making fun of the movie. And she also played the penguin. The penguin rescues Sleepytime Bear. In the movie she actually just threw him back in the lake instead of putting him back on the ship. The penguin was like "hi" and then walked back up to the ship without taking him actually on the ship. Sometimes the spirit was creepy. I also loved when Nicholas was trying to close the book and then she said, "don't close me" like she was actually being closed.
Brandon Ruiter played Grumpy Bear and Jason. And Jason was a little boy who didn't want to make friends. He is the brother of Kim which I talked about at the beginning. Grumpy Bear was funny and he worked with Good Luck Bear. They are trying to make the Care-o-Meter work again. There was this really funny part where everybody said "The Care-o-Meter has dropped to zero!!" And then Grumpy Bear says "Ca-ROM-eter." They call it the Care-o-Meter because they are Care Bears. In the movie, they said Care-o-Meter only. They didn't say anything else. I think that in the reading they decided to do it the other way because they thought it was funnier for a Care Bear to correct them because he's grumpy.
Ben Lobpries, he played Friend Bear and Lotsaheart. Lotsaheart was a Elephant, so when he said "well it has to go somewhere" to one of the Care Bears when they were on a ship, that is kind of weird and stupid, but in a funny way because most people would already know that it has to go somewhere if they had a brain. Everybody knows a ship has to go somewhere. Friend Bear was on an adventure with Secret Bear and they are trying to send Kim and Jason back to earth but they can't. The caring forest is another place about caring--like Care-a-lot. And there was this funny part where Friend Bear said, "My Bed is fluffy as a cloud," and Kim says "Your bed is a cloud." And then he says. "Ha. Ha. That's right." They both had it in the movie and the reading, but I liked it best in the reading because it was funnier because Kim in the movie said it very plain and not very funny. Kim in the reading said it with a different style--I would call it like a "duh" style.
Ele Matelan played Secret Bear. There was this really funny part where Sceret Bear was whispering to Friend Bear. Then he said, "Secret Bear says not to worry about the falling. Worry about the lion instead." And then he's like, "Lion? Lion!!!" There was this really funny part where Secret Bear gave birth to a key. So the key got stolen, and the she kind of gave birth to another key, like getting it out of her tummy. It was gross.
The narrator (Johnny Arena) was not actually a character in the story. He doesn't even tell the story--Mr. Cherrywood tells the story. The narrator just says what's going on, like "Meanwhile..." and stuff. He kind of made the story a story because if they were moving on to another part of the story then if he wasn't in, nobody could have said "Meanwhile..." so you wouldn't know there was a switch. I knew where we were going in the movie because you can actually see in the movie, but this was just a reading. I loved how the narrator kept saying the word Canadian: "A houseful of Canadian orphans" and "Two very happy Canadian children were sitting between their two happy Canadian parents." Canadian Canadian, Canadian.
It is possible to like the movie more than the reading IF you are a big Care Bears fan. Finding out that the reading is funnier would make Care Bears fans feelings about the Care Bear Movie different but in a good way. It would show them that the Care Bears Movie is terrible and this reading is awesome. I would recommend the people that read my reviews see the movie if they just think of the reading in their head while they are watching it.
I think you should see readings and plays by the House Theatre because they are a really awesome company. And the Neofuturists is a really nice theater. I have never seen anything that is bad at the Neofuturists. Not a single thing.
"It Came from the Third Dimension" was really funny and cool because at the beginning they were just flat puppets, so they were in the second dimension. So they went into the third dimension, and the people who were working the puppets became the puppets kind of, only that they were third dimensional like me, the universe, everybody. And when they turned into the people, they were like "What? What? Who?" And then they were like, "We've done it! Into the third dimension!" Then they would touch people because they were like, "this is so beautiful and cool. So much mass, so much volume." I felt like I was in two shows when I got touched by the actors in the third dimension. It was cool. When they were touching people, it was so funny and crazy; it was awesome.
When the scientists were looking at the people in the audience, then these birds flew in, and they tried to catch the birds, and they were talking about samples. And they were so funny because it looked like all they cared about was the samples. They were like "samples! samples!" It was really hilarious. Then one of the scientists ran in, and his friend had been eaten by a monster. And he was like, "What have you done with my friend, you third-dimensional nightmare?" And then the monster looks at him, and the scientist is like "who--o-o-a." And then the scientist is like, "I know. I will defeat you with the power of science." The power of science was weird and stupid in a funny way because he just threw the bird at him--so that was the power of science in the play. But that was not really the power of science in real life. That was really weird. The power of science in real life is racing to see who can complete a science experiment fast.
When the monster came out I was kind of creeped out because I didn't know it was going to happen. But then when the monster started doing things, and the scientist was there, it was kind of funny because the scientist was doing all these funny but very stupid things. The monster was like a big puppet that lots of people had to get into. It had no mouth; all it had was wings and eyeballs.
This was one of the very funny plays because of all the funny lines, the monster, and the acting. And almost all the time it was funny, except if it was your first time (or only time) seeing the monster. Then it was kind of scary.
There was this fun show that I didn't see all of because it had a really weird ending that children could not see. And the play was called "Confluence." It is about this mass on this man's thigh that cannot be touched. If it is touched, he dies. The girl is in love with him, but they can't do things they want to because of the mass in his thigh.
There was this really funny part where a girl named Joy had toilet paper in her shoe. That was how they fell in love. They were seeing who could pick it up, and then the boy picked it up, and then this music came on, and then he handed her the toilet paper. She was like "thanks," and he was like "oh, that's gross," and he put it in the pocket that didn't have a big bulge. She said "it went on like this for the rest of the night"--that is a very funny line because them staring at each other because of toilet paper is just weird and it could never go on for all night because they would have to yawn once.
"Confluence" was really fun because it was really funny. And even though it was the grown-upist show in the whole Sketchbook, it was kind of for kids because of the toilet paper and how they fell in love about toilet paper and also the frog story. The frog story was about a frog and about how Nathan was going to smash a frog but he missed. It is just a weird story. That is like a funny kid's thing.
"The Franchise" was a really funny piece. It was about this firefighter that really liked being a firefighter, but his wife didn't want him to get hurt. He kept talking about putting out fires with his blood. That was funny but kind of grody. And it was really weird because putting out fires with blood never happens because the only way to put out a fire is not with your own blood but with water, wa-ter, w a t e r, water! That character is crazy.
There are these hilarious places that they went where they put out fires. The first one was just a plain old fire. I liked the DJ one, and I also really liked the one where all the people come in that he worked with but John the firefighter wouldn't listen to them because he was so in love with his wife. He has to go put out a fire...in space! It was very weird. And there was this really funny part when they are discussing about what they should do, and he asks "why can't I put out a fire!?" and his wife says, "because it is metaphorical." If you don't know what a metaphor is, you can learn it from me, ADA GREY! (and MY MOM! because she told me what a metaphor is. I learned it just a few seconds ago.) A metaphor is like (here is an example that I came up with) in "The Parasite," which I am going to talk about next, she says "I am on fire." She feels like she is on fire because she is so in love with a parasite, but she is not actually on fire.
There was this funny part where this guy was holding a gun up at the firefighter, and then he was talking, and he said, "Pip pip cheerio, Mr. Blaze. Pip pip cheerio forever."And then he did a little bow; it was funny. And then he laughed an evil laugh, and then they just started going down like in an elevator. They just went down like on to their knees, and then you couldn't see them. This show was really funny.
"The Parasite" was a very fun play even though there were a few swear words. The play is about this woman who is in love with her parasite. If you don't know what a parasite is, you can learn it from me, ADA GREY! A parasite is a kind of bug that lives in your body. And in this play, somebody says "It's eating you!" There was this really funny part where her friend doesn't want the parasite to be with her, and they are arguing about him. Then the girl that is in love with the parasite says, "He's different. He's...he's...he's...Spanish." It is funny, because it doesn't matter where he is from. She means that she's really in love with the parasite because he's handsome and sings. She loves Spanish songs so then she is like "ooooh" when he sings.
There was this really funny part where he said, "I weell sing you a sowng," and a guitar was on his back, and then he turned it over and he started playing it. And here is the song he sang, "Mi Aaaaa-morrrr!" And then she just sat on the table and cleared off all the nail polish with her hands and it made a big clank. Then she put her glasses into her pocket because she wanted to look beautifuller and so she could kiss him better.
The parasite gets strangled by her friend, and then the girl that is in love with the parasite is really sad. The first time I saw it, I thought it was kind of tragic. But then when I saw it the rest of the times, then I thought it was kind of funny because he looked like a bug, so much like a bug, when he died. He had his arms up like with his fingers all bended and his elbows pushed in.
It was a really funny show because the actors were really good actors and they just were too hilarious--but in a good way too hilarious.
"I Wish You Love" was a kind of dance. There was this ship--a girl with a ship hat, actually--and there was also this man who smoked a cigarette who looked like a lighthouse and looked like he had rock hair. I don't mean like rock-and-roll hair. I mean like rocks.
I wish I could do this part of the review with icons because this one should be with icons because nobody actually had lines. I would use the icons which would be ship, lighthouse, water, an icon that is a bit to the side to show her head tilting, rocks, and coming toward somebody, and break, and smoke a cigarette. And last--but not least--laugh because everybody laughed at this one.
It is sad because the ship was so in love with the lighthouse, but when she broke herself on his rocks he didn't care. I think it is called "I Wish You Love," because it was just kind of short for "I wish you loved me." I think it is just like a sniffle sad. The ending was funny because they showed it in a funny way, which was it made the ship look like it was actually being wrecked because her head tilted. It can be both hilariously funny and sad because it was just a boat and a lighthouse--not people.
"Evolution" was about Kristoffer Diaz writing this play that I'm going to talk about. It is kind of weird to write a play about the play that he's writing. I think the two grown-upist plays in Sketchbook were this and "Confluence." It was about critics (like myself) not liking other people's plays. The critics should just go with what they want to say but not just say "this play was terrible. I hated it." They should say some bad things and some good things. Then the writers and the actors know that you thought it was ok, but just not the best play that you ever saw.
It starts with Kristoffer Diaz played by an actor bringing an actual person from the audience onto the stage and onto the couch. There was a choice that that person had to make, a decision at the end. Here are the three options that he gave: 1) tell him that he's wrong, 2) kiss him, 3) punch the critic in the face. Nobody said he was wrong. One kissed him. Mostly they asked Kristoffer Diaz to punch the critic in the face. I think I would choose to punch the critic in the face. I just don't think he is a very good critic. Nobody thinks I am a bad critic, so it wouldn't be like punching myself in the face.
[Hello. This is Ada's mom. Ethical reviewer that she is, Ada has asked me to review the piece in Sketchbook in which she appeared so that she would not have to review it herself. Here goes. "I and My iPhone" featured the Red Orchid Youth Ensemble and was a treat for me to watch each of the ten times I saw it. Like many parents, I tend to watch my own kid the entire time she is onstage. When she did The Nutcracker at her ballet school last year, I was convinced the whole ballet was about a child party guest who gets a gift from the Stahlbaum family, watches some dancing dolls, and then falls asleep and is carried home. Frankly, the second act seemed to go off the rails; what do dancing flowers have to do with a child party guest? So, it is a testament to the great actors in "I and My iPhone" that I know what each of them looks like and realized that the play was about a teenager whose family and friends stage an intervention to confront her about her iPhone addiction. These kids were funny, articulate, and authentic onstage--when they were throwing that iPhone around, I felt real anxiety for its safety. Just as important to me, as a mom, the whole cast was sweeter than pie to my kid offstage. The ensemble gets a rave review from me for that too.]
I think Sketchbook is a really fun thing. It is really fun because when at the end of a play you are like, "Aww, it's over" then in Sketchbook you are like, "Yay! There's another one!" Sketchbook is a cool, crazy good time. Next year, I think Sketchbook is going to be still one of the awesomest things to see.
Photo: Candice Conner
Once upon a time I went to a play and it was called Cherry Orchard. And I think there were some problems with the direct address and the script was not the best adaptation in the world. Not all versions of Cherry Orchard are like this one; some are awesome. There was direct address---too much! They used some lines that were directed to characters in another Cherry Orchard that I saw, but in this one they were directed to the audience. Then it is not exactly a play; it is just a person talking to you in a costume. When characters are talking to each other, then it is more of a story. Direct address is good when the audience is a character. Like in Liza Minelli's Daughter, we became a character in the story. We danced, and she told us stories, and she climbed up into the audience and talked to us. When I went to go see The Cherry Orchard, it was not the best play in the world, but I still liked some of it.
I liked the dancing scene. It was a cool scene because there was dancing that was folk dancing. They did Russian dancing because it took place in Russia. I think that they put the scene in because the director thought it would be a good scene because he put funny things in it--like when Yepikhodov (Fernando S. Albiar) fell down trying to do the Russian dance.
I liked the scene where Charlotta (Liz Fletcher) was cleaning a gun. It was really funny. She said she didn't know who she was, and when she leaves she says, "I still do not know who I am." She should know who she is, and she didn't even know what her name is. All the audience knows exactly what her name is. Why don't we just get her a dictionary? She had a dog which was not an actual dog, and you could plainly see that. It was funny that you could plainly see that it was not an actual dog. The trick with the baby was really funny because she like tricked people that it was an actual baby. If she knows magic tricks, then it makes her character more interesting. I liked her because she was funny.
And I also really liked the scene where they move back into their old house after being in Paris. It was a nice beginning. When they got there you heard this "Hooray!" and this smooching. It was kind of weird, but it showed that they had not seen each other for a long time and they really liked each other.
I liked Varya (Helen Young). I thought she was stern, and I like stern people. She was fierce, and I like fierce people.
I think people that like direct address, different kinds of translations, and silly stuff would like this play. I think it was an okay play, and I think this play should be for ages 4 and up. I think if they used less direct address, it would be a little bit better. And if they didn't take out so many lines, then it would show you what the actual play was really like. I think Chekhov would like it to be more romantic, and have characters actually go into the cherry orchard and not just have it in the background, and have people talk with characters instead of the audience.
Photo: Dean LaPrairie
Hazel was a very smart and helpful rabbit, and he was played by Paul S. Holmquist. He was always trying to keep his little brother safe. I don't mean like younger brother, I mean like runt brother. I really liked his part because he was kind. You think he was dead, but then he is actually okay. He starts out just being Hazel, and at the end he turns into Hazelrah which means King Hazel or leader Hazel. Paul Holmquist also played El-ahrairah. El-ahrairah is a legendary rabbit. There are lots of stories about him. Paul played both the parts because they both were almost the same: they were both rabbits; they both wanted to save their friends.
Chelsea Paice played Clover. Clover was very nice, and she was always trying to keep people safe--like when she was trying to get her friends to go live with Hazel with her. And she was the one that didn't get put in the cage. She also played Vinca who got killed at the very beginning. I don't think that was the owl getting Vinca. The black rabbit was the rabbit of death. The black rabbit takes her to the owl, and the owl gets her, and the black rabbit takes her away and turns her into a ghost. Vinca wanted to go anywhere her brother Blackberry was going. And then she dies. Then she didn't go anywhere her brother was going because she was dead. I was very sad for her.
Christopher M. Walsh played Bigwig. He was in love with Hyzenthlay, and he was told to watch over her while the others were gone because she was a troublemaker for them but not for Bigwig. Bigwig was fuh-larious. When he was trying to to sound disappointed he actually sounded very funny. When Hyzenthlay said "Don't forget to say that you were disappointed" he actually was disappointed, so it was very easy to say that he was disappointed because he was. He was disappointed that he couldn't make babies with her because it wasn't her mating time yet. He also was part of the Owsla in the first warren. He runs away with Hazel.
Mandy Walsh played Hyzenthlay. And she was in love with Bigwig. She wanted to run away so she could have babies. She had so many babies to take care of when she ran away. All the young ones were hidden and luckily none of the young ones died during the fights.
Scott T. Barsotti, he played Fiver. He can smell danger, and he's a runt. Hazel is his brother. He is scary at some parts. There was a scary part when he screams because Hazel they think is dead. He could smell danger at the warren, that something dangerous was going to happen. And he was right. Some believed him and some of them didn't.
Silver was played by Bryson Engelen. Silver was the cousin of Threarah. Threarah is the leader of the first warren. He was part of the Owsla for a month. Silver wore really funny goggles that I think were swimming goggles. I think the funniest person in how he moved around was Silver. He moved more like a rabbit than the others but none of them really dressed like a rabbit. Silver brings up the idea of rabbits fighting cats. I think he is obsessed with rabbits defeating cats. He thinks rabbits would give him a reward and make him a leader if he fighted a cat. I actually think some Rabbits could fight cats--like Hazel and Silver. They do once.
Dave Skvarla played Cowslip and General Woundwort. General Woundwort had a very creepy costume. He had like this scratch over one eye that showed that he always fights things. He wanted everybody to stay where he lived, and he wanted Bigwig to be killed. He's one hundred percent horrible. Cowslip was less scary, and he was nicer. It was awesome when Dave Skvarla played both the parts because then he got to play a good character and a bad character. Sometimes my dad gets to do that, so I thought it was cool. It tells you that they are actors that have spunk. Paul S. Holmquist had spunk too.
Jesse Manson playacted Dandelion and Kehaar. Dandelion was like the great storyteller. He told the stories about El-ahrairah. I loved Kehaar. Kehaar is a bird that all the rabbits like. He helps them by finding the house for them and by telling them the ways across the river. He was really funny, and his voice was hilarious. I loved when he said " I will go and mate on big water." I love how he called it "big water" when it was just an ocean, I think. And there was another funny part where he said,"and little baby bigwigs run away." I think he knew who was going to get married.
Chris Daley played Blackberry. Blackberry is one of Fiver's and Hazel's friends. He's very smart. He has a lot of smart ideas, like carrying Fiver over the water on a board. He is the only one with a sister. The others have brothers or no siblings at all. He is very sad when his sister dies. His sister was very smart too--she was smart to go with Blackberry because he's smart.
Strawberry was acted by Eduardo Garcia. Strawberry's wife gets killed. It is very sad when his wife gets killed, but you don't see it happen. Strawberry comes with Hazel and Fiver to the next warren because his wife is dead.
Captain Holly was acted by Matt Engle. He wanted to take Bigwig to jail, but then he turns to their side because almost all the rabbits at the first warren had died. Trying to save the other rabbits, he fights General Woundwort. It makes you think you like him and then you are sad when he dies.
Matt Kahler played Threarah. Threarah is the leader in the first warren. In the first warren he was calling Hazel Walnut. Fiver thinks a bad thing is coming. And Threarah is like "Yes, very upsetting" in not a very upsetting way at all--he didn't actually sound upset. He was supposed to sound not upset. It was hilarious. You kind of like him sometimes but sometimes you kind of hate him. And when he dies you feel sad because he is dead.
The costumes by Aly Renee Amidei were very cool. I expected them to be more rabbit-ish. It wouldn't be as much grown-up-ish if they had rabbit ears and bunny tails. It would be more for kids. The costumes told you what personality the rabbits had. Blackberry had a little bow tie and glasses, which made him look like he was smart. And Hazel's pants had holes in them, which showed you that he wanted to protect all his friends. I thought it was good that they told you about the personality instead of that they were rabbits. Joanna Iwanikcka did the masks. I loved the masks! The skeleton masks were awesome. The helmet masks were really appropriate because they had ears and they were rabbittish. El-ahrairah and his helper Rabscuttle wore masks--then it made them look more legendary. That's how you could tell they were legendary--they were wearing masks.
Wenhai Ma did the projections. They were really cool because the black rabbit of death looked like one enormous bloody mouth. They used projections for places that they go, like the barn, and they used them also for blood--like blood came up on the screen when someone got hurt. We thought it was very creepy when blood came up on the screen. I thought there would be blood effects instead of blood coming up on the screen. It was scarier. It was good that it was scarier because it was a very sad and scary book.
People that like rabbits and legends would like this play. Whenever it was funny, everybody in the audience would always laugh. And when it you thought Hazel was dead, everybody cried--but silently. People should see it if they like a combination of funny and sad and scary. It is a grown-up play and a kid play because there are some funny parts that kids like (like "big water" and "baby bigwigs")and things that grown-ups like, like wondering what is going to happen next.
Photos: Suzanne Plunkett
In the first scene Mary wore a robe, and I didn't think it was an actual costume because she was telling stuff that actually happened to her and because it wasn't after a dance number. She might have been dreaming that she did this play or she was just talking to you as Mary Fons about stuff that happened to her in real life. I got that idea because she was wearing the robe. She is telling you how she made this play because she wanted people to know that she was actually Liza Minnelli's daughter and nobody believed her.
The costumes were really cool. Why didn't she wear the white one they were talking about? I don't think she was ever going to wear the white one in any play at all. At the end, her clothes were regular. When I am just wearing regular clothes, I feel lonely because it makes me feel like I am not Ada Grey. I am just a girl wandering around. I am not somebody; I'm nobody. She looked like a person that didn't do any plays at all. You feel sad for her because she is sad about the play and thinks nobody would like it. The clothes were really Liza-ish.
There are these two guys that are her assistants. They like worked for her all day--they were like double assistants. Their names were Donnell Williams and Joseph Schupbach. I've seen them in Barrel of Monkeys. I think she put these characters in her play because I think Liza Minnelli had assistants that were like them. There was this funny part that Donnell and Joseph did that was called "crazy dad." Her actual dad was the person that was the crazy dad. There was a marker on stage instead of the actual dad. But her dad was not a marker in real life. It was funny because he kept saying "I'm crazy dad!" Whenever crazy dad leaves he goes and says "Crazy!"
It was really funny when Joseph was like, "How about we can sing, 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow,' and then they turn it on and Joseph is lip-syching and it is really hilarious because he sounds exactly like her--because he is lip-synching.
There was a little letter in the roses that said: "Donnell, I think you will be a great Judy." And Mary comes out and looks at it. And Donnell looks like Judy Garland because he was all in a dress and he talked like a girl kind of. Judy Garland is very mean to Mary. Judy Garland was actually a very good actress but a very snotty girl in this play.
Mary tells a story about her medical problems. It was really sad. I felt sorry for her. She could not have a baby. Liza Minnelli could not have a baby either, so that is one of the reasons that Mary thought she was her daughter. It was so weird because she said Liza Minnelli can't have a baby either--then how could she be her mother? She is kind of turning on her own self.
My favorite dance scene was the one where they wore bowler hats. They danced really cool. They did like hip hip hip and at the end she fell back in the chair. Literally almost fell off the chair--but she just like fell back off the chair. Her feet were still on it, but her head was tipped back like all the way. There was this girl in American in Paris, and there was the part where these two men were looking in the mirror, and it was like, oh I know that girl, and it showed a picture of a girl dancing like Liza Minnelli's daughter in this play.
Donnell, Joseph, and Mary are watching a movie. There is this girl that Mary says to the audience, "At first I thought that girl was a blow-up doll." And I agreed because 1) she actually looked like a moving blow-up doll that was a robot and 2) she looked like the mermaid in the-pink-panther-in-love-with-the-mermaid sculpture by Jeff Koons. If you want to see that you can go to the MCA.
There was a funny scene and before she got drunk she said "We are going to party after the show." And then when she wanted to forget all her problems, then she said, when she wanted to get drunk: "It's party time!" And then everybody went up and danced. And I danced too. I was kind of nervous because neither of my parents came out. Mom didn't come out because she was holding the drink. It was a prop that Mom was holding that was a drink. Someone gave it to her because they needed the prop for when Mary got drunk later. Dad didn't come out because he was hot and he was wearing so much stuff. So Donnell helped me feel good about going up on stage by coming up with me.
The scene where she drank a lot--that was kind of a little creepy. I was actually a little scared because I thought she was actually going to get drunk in real life. She gets drunk and she climbs on so much stuff and is in the audience. Joseph and Donnell are telling her "We do believe you, and we can go to New York." You thought she was going to hurt somebody or shoot a gun because she was in the audience and she looked like she was going to shoot herself or something. She was so sad and angry and some people shoot themselves when they are sad and angry and drunk. She was so angry that the helpers didn't believe her that she was Liza Minnelli's daughter. If kids go to see that they will be very overwhelmed.
I GOT A DOLL! Liza Minnelli's daughter gave me the doll that looked like Liza Minnelli. She's like "Maybe I am actually not a superstar, so maybe I will give my favorite thing to you because I don't need it anymore because I am not doing the show." She was talking to me, and I am a kid, so that made it kind of moving. It was like she was talking to her very own daughter. I almost cried.
People that like Liza Minnelli, dancing, black shoes, singing, funny helpers, and playing very babyish pianos would like this play. It was fun because you get to dance and you can very much just sit back and enjoy because it is very funny. It was also moving, creepy, and overwhelming. People should go see it because it is awesome and delightful to see.
Photos: Johnny Knight
Once upon a time I went to a dance show, and it was called Busta Keaton. It was about Buster Keaton, and it was really fun. Buster Keaton is a famous black-and-white silent movie actor. He was very funny. Busta Keaton was like Buster Keaton only a rap dancer. Both were like clumsy funny and stunt-sy. Stunt-sy means very good at stunts. There were lots of cool dances. There were people in black and white. And there were some people that were in colorful costumes. The colorful costumes were for the teenagers. They were like new movies, ones that are newer to us than black and white. There was sad-moody, rock, and hip-hop songs. The ads were really funny because they were from a long time ago. And some of them were really hilarious because there were these kids saying, "You should try this product or something terrible will happen." Or something like that. That was good because it made it more old fashioned.
There was this glow-in-the-dark scene. It was really fun. They were wearing white outfits, and you could only see the outfits. My socks started glowing in the dark because they were white! And there were these floating shapes and people who kicked people in the head. You saw all these people doing different moves, and the music sounded like a robot.
There was this really funny scene where this girl fell in love with Busta Keaton. She was like "Oh, you have a pie?" And she really wanted some. She chased Busta Keaton all around the room. Then he set it down and said, "go ahead and have some." Then her face fell in it. Then she looked up and she looked very angry. Then they danced everywhere. They still like each other even though the pie got in her face.
There was this scene and these three men and like this big carton. Everyone wanted to get on the carton, and to get it they must do the greatest tricks. They were like jumping off it in different ways and trying to impress each other. And then they all got to sit on it. That meant that they didn't really like each other at first, but now they do.
It was cool because all the dances were all different. It was all different kinds of stories that were part of the same play. I never ever got bored. The dances were really fun, exciting, and awesome. People that like dancing, Buster Keaton, and black and white would like this dance show. People should go see it. They should go see it today or tomorrow because they are having their last show tomorrow.
It was directed by Kimberly Senior. It wasn't as funny as Cherry Orchard--she also directed that play. This one was more dramatic. She chose a play with guns, miners who don't have jobs, grown-up talk, words that some children would rather not hear (but not me, I am okay with this kind of talk), and no speech to a bookcase. It was less for kids. It was a good play still.
It is about a fake conquest of the South Pole--as you can see in the title, except for the fake part. It is not actually at the South Pole. They are in an attic. When I am angry, sometimes I just go into my room and play. I know some of you might think that is silly--but that is what makes little kids feel better. The miners think if they play conquest of the South Pole then that will make them feel better. It does not make them feel better at all--it makes them sadder because they still don't have any jobs and they don't have any money. Somebody doesn't want to play it and then they fight over the game and then they all quit except for two people who still play. Then a woman (played by Jenny Avery) has a baby and the play ends.
Anderson Lawfer played the meanest husband in the world. He did go to the actual South Pole, but he didn't play the game. He was so mean. I don't even know his name because I was so focused on how mean he was. His name was Rudi. Whew. He was rude. He gets into a fight because he treats his wife badly. He was bragging about going to the South Pole, and that makes them angry because they are just pretending. The fight was really very very creepy. I didn't even watch all of it because it was sooo creepy. It looks like Rudi bled very very very very bad. Very bad. It kind of made me a little grossed out because I know Andy in real life.
Rosi was played by Justine C. Turner. Rosi is Rudi's girlfriend. I felt sorry for her. Rosi was very cool. She smoked. Everybody saw her smoking. When she comes to the stage, then she says, "They call me Rosi," then she smokes the cigarette and she says "The Divorcee." If you don't know what divorcee means you can learn it from me--ADA GREY! (and my mom). It means a divorced female person. I just learned it a few seconds ago--but if you read this in the future, like a hundred years later, then it will not be a few seconds ago. It will be a hundred years ago. Justine did a good job being funny. When she said "divorcee" that was hilarious, and I didn't even know what divorcee meant, but I laughed anyway.
Jamie Vann played Slupianek. Slupianek is such a hilarious name. Slupianek makes me think of a funny person. And he was pretty funny. There was a song called, "Why can't a Moose ride a bike. Err Errk. Because he doesn't have the thumb to ring the bell." It was the main song in the whole entire thing. It was really hilarious and they sang it a lot. Slupianek was the person who sent Braukmann to cooking class. It was funny how he presented it. Slupianek was the leader to the South Pole. But he wasn't always the leader because some people had their very own ideas, which he disapproved of. But then he did them anyway. He is in love with Braukmann's Wife. And there is this part where he like lets her back in the chair and puts her forward again and then he says "Scene 6." I think they were starting to fall in love with each other. I have a theory about the last scene of the play. He was waiting in the hospital and decided to go to the South Pole when he was waiting for Braukmann's Wife to have the baby. I think she is going to have the baby, and then the baby is going to want to go the South Pole with his daddy. And he is going to be in a tiny little baby coat, with a tiny little ski mask, and then a little teddy bear with a coat that says "New Baby" on it and a tiny little bear ski mask.
Braukmann's Wife was played by Jenny Avery. There is some shooting in the play that she does. You think she is going to shoot Slupianek, but then she shoots his pigeons instead--which you don't really care about as much as Slupianek. I didn't actually think she did the right decision, because Slupianek was actually in love with her and then she would be like "I'm going back with Braukmann again." Then he might feel sad because he was so looking forward to marrying her because he had no wife. She shouldn't have broke up with Braukmann and just get together with him again because that made Slupianek and Braukmann both very sad. You still like the character though because she has a very simple but hard life.
Tom Hickey played Braukmann. He was really hilarious because he was like "What? I'm going to cooking class?" He always cooked up a meal. Maybe Slupianek wanted him to be like his wife. French fries in Antarctica--in the South Pole? Can you imagine something more hilarious? No. Braukmann was kind of one of the helpers that helped with the things Slupianek couldn't do--like cook. Braukmann was reading a book, and he had a dream: he was giving a speech on a chair at night. And then his wife woke up and told him to go back to bed. She was kind of a little bit tired, I could see.
Michael Dailey played Seiffert. His nickname was Moose and there was a curtain. And Buscher said "What is behind this curtain that wasn't there yesterday?" And they kept saying "curtain that wasn't there yesterday" instead of just "the curtain" because that made it funnier. Moose was behind it, and Moose was about to hang himself because he doesn't have a job. Then he can't get money. They forced him to eat french fries. The dreaded french fries! Moose had no wife or I would have told you about her already. Nobody had a wife except for Braukmann and Slupianek and that was the same wife! Rosi isn't Rudi's wife anymore because he treated her so terribly.
John Ferrick played Bushcher. He wanted to play characters that failed to go to the South Pole because he wanted to be failures because he thought he was a failure because he didn't have a job. But then everybody said we don't want to be failures because we aren't failures. He does not all fit with Slupianek, meaning he is not the same personality. They want much different things. They actually didn't go to the South Pole, so then they wouldn't be lying if they pretended that they had failed to go the South Pole.
Joel Ewing played the dog. There was this funny part where he was in this pose all ready to do the next scene. Everybody else was frozen solid about to smoke a cigar. And then the dog kept tapping them and they wouldn't move, so the dog just went off stage. He was funny and very good at pretending to pull sleds.
If parents do not like kids seeing people drinking and smoking and fighting this would not be a play for them. And if the children do not like seeing people fighting over a girl or breaking up or bras, then they should not see this play. I liked it a lot anyway because it is okay with me to see that kind of stuff. People that like things that are cold, dramatic stuff, babies, and funny stuff like "bottomless--as usual!" would like this play. I recommend that people should go see this play because it is a good play and lots of people would like it. Some parts are fun; some parts are depressing. Having depressing parts makes the play make more sense. If it is happy for the whole time, it is not that much fun to see. There have to be some depressing things to make it a good play. For example, in Orlando he/she is in love with Sasha but then Sasha runs away from him/she. And that is a good play. And Conquest of the South Pole is a good play too.
Photos: Chris Ocken
