Review of B----, I'll Cut You at Chicago Women's Funny Festival

Once upon a time, I went to a show and it was called, and I cannot tell you what the name is because the first word is the B-word. So the whole thing is B----, I'll Cut You. I think I know why Monique Madrid used the B-word--because she is supposed to be a sexy, weird, hair-cutting lady named Monica Barcelona. And the "I'll cut you" part is supposed to be not "I'll cut your head off" but "I'll cut your hair." This show is an audience-participation comedy. Some people wrote their name down on a list ,and then two people get to come up on stage and get a hairdo or get their makeup done. I thought it was fun because all the audience felt like they were in the actual show.

Monica Barcelona has a weird hairdo, like they are like big puffy ponytails, only not just big but enormous big puffy ponytails, only not just enormous but quizillion-wizillion-normous. They're just really big. They are bigger than her head. P.S. they are not bigger than the universe. It is funny because she is supposed to be weird and that means she might have a weird taste and then she will give herself a weird taste of a hairdo.

This is not a touching play. If you only like dramas, then you would hate this play with all your heart and never want to see Monique and Erica Elam again because they are fuhlarious. (And if you also go to Monique's house to see her husband, you will also be disappointed because he is hilarious as well.) The whole audience has to say this little chant that goes like this, "Monica Barcelona, you is beautiful. And if Monica Barcelona says you is beautiful, then you is beautiful." And I thought that was a funny way to get people ready to have a haircut.

Erica plays Monica Barcelona's assistant. At the beginning, she says "I have some problems with..." and somebody has to shout out what she has a problem with. And then when somebody does that, she says, "Yes I have a problem with..." in this case, "drinking." She said, "Oh, we have lots of different things, we have water, wine, and beer." It was obvious that she had a drinking problem if they only had water, wine and beer, because obviously two of them were her idea.

One of the people from the audience who was getting a haircut was dancing with Monica Barcelona instead of his "girlfriend."  His girlfriend was played by Erica.  But instead of just dancing with her he danced sexy and romantic with her which is not very nice to do in front of your girlfriend.  And then Monica Barcelona did not think that was very nice, and I cannot blame her even though she is very weird.  She just said "Why are you dancing with me instead of your pretty girlfriend that you are planning to marry," or something along the lines of that.  It showed you that she gives away secrets and she is not very nice to her customers and it makes it funnier because if someone is kind of mean to someone in a play or in a cartoon it can be funny.  Kind of like slapstick.  This wasn't slapstick, it was like, instead of hitting them, hurting them in the heart.   It wouldn't be funny in real life because you would feel sorry for that person.  But since it is just a play, people don't feel sorry because it isn't in real life.

People that would like this show are people that would like audience participation, crazy hairdos, and little chants.  I think this show is really fun for lots of different people who have good taste. Ada Barcelona, you is beautiful.  And if Ada Barcelona says you is beautiful, then you is beautiful.