Once upon a time, I went to go see a show at the Neofuturists and it was called A Reading of The Care Bears Movie and it was done by the House Theatre. It was fuh-larious. It was so funny I almost fell backwards. I have also seen the movie too, and it was not as funny. It was more boring than the actual reading because the movie was kind of cheesy. In the reading, the actors were making fun of it. The movie was scarier than the play because of this big monster.
Dixie Uffelman played Kim. I liked Kim's character because she is a good person to have in something like this. She is an orphan. She used to like people, but she didn't like people when her parents "went away." When I said "went away" I meant die. The people in the Care Bears reading put it in quotation marks because they didn't actually go away; they actually died. In the movie they just said went away because they didn't want kids to be sad about parents dying because that is something that you need to think about later in life. Kim, I think, is Mrs. Cherrywood. I think it is because at the end she says "That is my favorite story." And then Mr. Cherrywood said, "It made me happier that I ever could be", so that sounds like she knows the story because 1) she just heard it lots and lots of times or 2) she was a characterin the story.
Joey Steakley played Good Luck Bear. Good Luck Bear was Irish, and he was so funny. He was sooo Irish. He had the Irish-est accent in the world. It was tooo Irish. He said his name "Goood Luke Bear." And he also said Lollipoop, and all the words were all vowels. It was so funny. Can you imagine that? Joey also played Mr. Cherrywood who was a Canadian kind of father. And Mr. Cherrywood is also Nicholas. Nicholas is the villain of this story, but it turns out that he starts to care. He is a villain because he likes this book--an evil spirit. Not like "like like" but like "like." Hear that? An eeeevil spirit. He becomes friends with Kim and Jason; that shows that he starts to care. He always flapped with his cape whenever the narrator said "Nicholas." Birthday Bear is a really funny Care Bear because once when someone brought bad news, he said "Something terrible is happening" and then he said, "Happy Birthday!"When he always said happy birthday that was not in the movies. I think it was Joey's idea to be funny.
Shawn Pfautsch played Mr. Fettucine. He was really funny because one time he changed characters at the wrong time. One time he thought he was supposed to play Mr. Fettucine but he was actually going to play Tender Heart. He put up the mustache, and then he looked at the script and just pulled up his hood again that meant that he was a Care Bear. Tender Heart was one of the main Care Bears. He went to go save Nicholas. So did all the other care bears, but he was the first to discover Nicholas and the book. Once he was like "Nicholas, NO!" and then Nicholas was like "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!" It was so funny because Nicholas was so loud it sounded like he was being murdered.
The evil spirit was the actual really terribly bad guy. Marika Mashburn played the evil spirit. There was this part where the narrator started talking and then the evil spirit laughed in the middle of his sentence. That was so funny. I don't think she was trying to be very scary--because they are making fun of the movie. And she also played the penguin. The penguin rescues Sleepytime Bear. In the movie she actually just threw him back in the lake instead of putting him back on the ship. The penguin was like "hi" and then walked back up to the ship without taking him actually on the ship. Sometimes the spirit was creepy. I also loved when Nicholas was trying to close the book and then she said, "don't close me" like she was actually being closed.
Brandon Ruiter played Grumpy Bear and Jason. And Jason was a little boy who didn't want to make friends. He is the brother of Kim which I talked about at the beginning. Grumpy Bear was funny and he worked with Good Luck Bear. They are trying to make the Care-o-Meter work again. There was this really funny part where everybody said "The Care-o-Meter has dropped to zero!!" And then Grumpy Bear says "Ca-ROM-eter." They call it the Care-o-Meter because they are Care Bears. In the movie, they said Care-o-Meter only. They didn't say anything else. I think that in the reading they decided to do it the other way because they thought it was funnier for a Care Bear to correct them because he's grumpy.
Ben Lobpries, he played Friend Bear and Lotsaheart. Lotsaheart was a Elephant, so when he said "well it has to go somewhere" to one of the Care Bears when they were on a ship, that is kind of weird and stupid, but in a funny way because most people would already know that it has to go somewhere if they had a brain. Everybody knows a ship has to go somewhere. Friend Bear was on an adventure with Secret Bear and they are trying to send Kim and Jason back to earth but they can't. The caring forest is another place about caring--like Care-a-lot. And there was this funny part where Friend Bear said, "My Bed is fluffy as a cloud," and Kim says "Your bed is a cloud." And then he says. "Ha. Ha. That's right." They both had it in the movie and the reading, but I liked it best in the reading because it was funnier because Kim in the movie said it very plain and not very funny. Kim in the reading said it with a different style--I would call it like a "duh" style.
Ele Matelan played Secret Bear. There was this really funny part where Sceret Bear was whispering to Friend Bear. Then he said, "Secret Bear says not to worry about the falling. Worry about the lion instead." And then he's like, "Lion? Lion!!!" There was this really funny part where Secret Bear gave birth to a key. So the key got stolen, and the she kind of gave birth to another key, like getting it out of her tummy. It was gross.
The narrator (Johnny Arena) was not actually a character in the story. He doesn't even tell the story--Mr. Cherrywood tells the story. The narrator just says what's going on, like "Meanwhile..." and stuff. He kind of made the story a story because if they were moving on to another part of the story then if he wasn't in, nobody could have said "Meanwhile..." so you wouldn't know there was a switch. I knew where we were going in the movie because you can actually see in the movie, but this was just a reading. I loved how the narrator kept saying the word Canadian: "A houseful of Canadian orphans" and "Two very happy Canadian children were sitting between their two happy Canadian parents." Canadian Canadian, Canadian.
It is possible to like the movie more than the reading IF you are a big Care Bears fan. Finding out that the reading is funnier would make Care Bears fans feelings about the Care Bear Movie different but in a good way. It would show them that the Care Bears Movie is terrible and this reading is awesome. I would recommend the people that read my reviews see the movie if they just think of the reading in their head while they are watching it.
I think you should see readings and plays by the House Theatre because they are a really awesome company. And the Neofuturists is a really nice theater. I have never seen anything that is bad at the Neofuturists. Not a single thing.
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