Review of The Hypocrites’ Pirates of Penzance at Chopin Theatre

Once upon a time I went to a show and it was called Pirates of Penzance. It was about pirates and there was a modern major general. It was about a girl named Mabel and daughters of a very model major general. And he was very model-major-general-like. If you don’t know what a general is, you can learn it from me, ADA GREY! There are lots of different kinds of generals. Like a war general who tells you what to do in a war. In A White Christmas there is one general. He was a war general. A modern major general--he is an up-to-date general--his work was to keep people safe because he was keeping his daughters very safe, but then the pirates wanted to marry them so he couldn’t.

The audience was walking around on the stage, and it was really cool. At first I felt a little scared that I got to walk around. And I got to hold up a towel during one of the songs. I felt cute because I was holding up a towel that actually had the British flag on it; I felt super-duper cute and some complimented me on holding the towel. All the grown-ups, I think, since they have lived longer, they have walked around on the stage before because they weren’t scared at all.

It wasn’t what I expected from the person who directed the Comedy of Errors (Sean Graney). I expected it to have more funnier parts that weren’t really in Pirates of Penzance. There were some funny parts but Comedy of Errors had more funny parts. Something that there was a girl with a flipper and she was named Ruth and she was a pirate. She did not have a flipper in the original Pirates of Penzance. I am positive even though I have not seen the operetta.

Christine Stulik played Mabel and she also played Ruth. Ruth wanted to 

marry the young pirate whose name was Frederic. And I think he was still a teenager and she was 46. And she wanted to marry him, but she couldn’t because she was too old for him. Ruth’s part wasn’t that big. And I think it wasn’t that big because we didn’t get to see all of it. Mabel had glasses and was the oldest daughter of the modern major general. And her sisters were younger and all the same age. One of them was a pirate and one was a modern major general’s daughter, but they were both played by the same person. And they were exactly different. One of them was more high-pitched and the other one was more pirate-pitched. It was a little confusing when I first saw Mabel. The performance that she did was great because like her performance made me think that she was not the same person in those costumes.

The Modern Major General’s daughters (Becky Poole, Emily Casey, and Nikki Klix) had their dresses that looked like bathing suits and a bathing suit cap. And that was cool. There were pink and white flowers on their dress and hat. They had to pretend to marry pirates. They sang the modern major general and said “Yes he is! Yes he is!” Or “Yes you are! Yes you are!” They played some music. They played the violin, they played the accordion, and they played the ukulele. Their dancing and singing was kind of like hula dancers and policemen and rock stars and brides. They did a good job doing it.

There was this person called the Pirate King and he was a captain of the ship. And it had a song that told everybody about how he was a pirate king. And his part he wore a sailor’s hat that was hilarious and very short shorts. They were cool. There was a song that had a paradox in it, and I remember a tiny bit of the song, and I’ll sing it: “A paradox, a paradox, a one ingenious paradox.” The paradox was that he had only had five birthdays, but he was not five years old. He was twenty or nineteen or something like that. I learned what a paradox is from my a-genius mom. And my mom is also fuh-larious. (Ed. Note: aw, shucks.) The pirate king was played by Robert McLean. He did a terrific job because he acted like there was actually an ingenious paradox. There was not in real life, but he was faking very good.

Zeke Sulkes played the young pirate whose name was Frederic. Zeke had a cool costume. The costume was shorts with a tie and pirates don’t usually wear ties! His singing was really good. Like how when he was singing an emotion--like a sad one in that song where he said he had to say how he couldn’t be with Mabel--it really felt like he was singing like it was really happening. And I felt like it was really happening too. I don’t know if that was what they really wanted do, but I thought that that was a great idea to do it if that is what they wanted. Zeke was also in The Dirty Cowboy and that was a good play too. In both ones he was both playing good guys. The Dirty Cowboy was all about getting himself clean, but this one was more about love I guess.

Ryan Bourque, Doug Pawlik, and Shawn Pfautsch, they played pirates. When they played their instruments they did a good job because I think they had been practicing for a while. They had to try not to drop the instrument as they danced while they played. I think they were good dancers while playing. The pirates wanted to be rich, but at the end they really wanted to marry the girls--but not to be rich but because they loved them I guess.

The Modern Major General was Matt Kahler. He did a good job because when he sang he really sounded pretty funny. And I love that--when people sing funny. There was a song called “The Modern Major General” and he was singing about how he was a modern major general. It was real rocking, and it was real funny. It was really fast. I think it would have been very hard for him to sing so fast--but that is only a hypothesis.

I think this play should be for ages 5 and up because there is some stuff about killing but I think 5 year olds will be old enough for that. People that like pirates, hula dances, singing, and fast-singing hilariousness would like this play. The play was great because it was really funny, and I like funny things. It was more fun than just a play that you just got to sit down at. The people that go to see this should be prepared for threatening to die (not to themselves but just to a character). They should love it because it is a great play.


Photos: Paul Metreyeon