Review of You Got Older at Steppenwolf Theatre Company

Once upon a time I went to a show and it was called You Got Older. It was by Clare Barron and it was directed by Jonathan Berry. It was about a woman named Mae (Caroline Neff) who had moved back home with her Dad (Francis Guinan), who has cancer, after she lost her job and broke up with her boyfriend. It is about family, attempts at human connection, and happiness through hurt. I thought that this was really moving, truthfully awkward, and strangely hilarious. I think that is a perfect combination for a show.

One of my favorite scenes was at the hospital with the family. Everyone is at the hospital and they are waiting for their dad to wake up. Each sibling plays a very specific role in the family. Hannah (Audrey Francis) is pretty put-together and is trying to take care of everyone there. Jenny (Emjoy Gavino) is very positive. She is trying to make the best out of everything and offering little ways to cope with their fear of losing their dad. Matthew (David Lind) seems uncomfortable but he uses comedy that makes everyone else uncomfortable to make them feel better. The family is all very open with each other--even when they are talking about inappropriate or kind of gross things. It's not like they are trying to not be themselves when they are together. They are so open with each other to the point that it is hilarious. They talked about this curse that when you knit a sweater for someone you haven't been with very long, something terrible will happen. Then Hannah started talking about her ex-boyfriend and how he evidently had died, but Hannah didn't tell anyone about it. It was funny in a dark and weird way that you feel bad about laughing. They are also merciless about making fun of each other. Like Hannah brings avocados to the hospital and no one hesitates to call her out on how ridiculous that is. It is not mean or cruel, they are all just laughing together. It seems like a family you would want to be a part of, even though they don't have everything figured out.

Mae has two "love interests." One of them is a Cowboy (Gabriel Ruiz). He is not real; he is her sexual fantasy of the most exciting guy she could be with. And there is Mac (Glenn Davis) who lives in her hometown and knew her sister from when they were little. He is the more realistic version of what she wants in a man: he is sweet and kind and they share this strangeness. They don't get uncomfortable when they are talking about the unusual things they find attractive and like to do. Mac cares about people but sometimes makes mistakes; he is just human. The cowboy doesn't have any emotion, but sometimes that is what she seems to want: someone who doesn't have any baggage and is just there to be her fantasy. Her real life interrupts her fantasies (with Mac and the Cowboy) and she has to snap back into the real world. I think Mac actually exists, but he is trying to become her fantasy by sneaking into her room, like she told him she used to fantasize about. But it doesn't work out the way he had planned or she imagined because he is an actual person. There is a huge difference between real people and fantasies because real people have feelings and baggage and they want stuff too.

One of the things you notice about the characters is that they are trying to be happy through a lot of pain. They each of them have moments of happiness but you can see how much they are actually hurt. There is a scene where Mae was sitting down at the table with her father. They are talking and getting ready to leave for his treatment. And he plays her a song that he thinks represents his experience with having cancer, and seems proud that he has found this song. They are just listening together and they seem to be happy but you can see how much Mae is hurting. Even though the song is more upbeat and saying everything could be okay, you can see how Mae is thinking how everything might not be okay. And her dad sees how Mae is feeling, but Mae is oblivious that he understand her at all. It is so sad that near the end of his life is the time she actually realizes that somebody actually understands her.

People who would like this show are people who like moving father-daughter relationships, fantasy cowboys, and killer sweaters. I think people should definitely definitely go see this show. It is such an important story that needs to be told about a woman's desires, family, and the awkwardness of being a person. It has beautiful performances and heartbreaking and hilarious dialogue. I loved it.

Photos: Michael Brosilow